Death is the Answer
by MissMCQueen
Summary: Ha! if you thought Ryou was pure and innocent you are quite mistaken, with no other option left would Ryou go so far as to take his own life. COMPLETE
1. Death is the answer

Just don't ask how the hell I actually managed to come up with this entire idea and concept. I stared writing the first three lines then suddenly the entire plot formed in my mind. Yes blame my mind not me. 

Summary: Ha! if you thought Ryou was pure and innocent you are quite mistaken, with no other option left would Ryou go so far as to take his own life. 

3rd of December 2003: I'm in a rewriting mood so I've decided to revise this. 

* * *

**Death is The Answer**

Pain suffering and anguish, as you hear those words you think of physical suffering. You think of blood and torture. If not you think of people suffering hard lives. Children growing up with drunk abusive parent who couldn't give a damn wether they lived or died. Women being abused by their husbands as the baby cries. 

_That's what I once thought when I used to hear those words._

Abuse. As I look down at my arms I see the marks, the scars, the blood. As I look at every one I can remember the very experience that caused the mark. I used to just look away and try to forget what I did to myself, but I never could. It's all permanently embedded into my mind. 

It's not what you first think, they all weren't caused by Yami Bakura. For the first time in my life I'll be honest with you, a large majority of those scars were caused by me. Yes just like my Yami I've taken a blade to my skin, I've cut and sliced, I've wanted to feel the pain, the blood, the warmth. In some ways it takes away the anguish I feel mentally. I now understand that Bakura used to do it for the same reason. He doesn't any more… I think I put him off. 

Sure the marks can be covered, long sleaves and jackets can hide it all from the world……….. but it will never go away. Mentally I see and feel them, in my mind they can't be hidden. 

I almost panic when people look at me now. A thousand thoughts run thought my head. I think that just by looking at me those people could see deep within my soul, I think that even though my marks were hidden they could all be seen. Yes Paranoia has become a very large part of my life. 

It's like whenever I look into a mirror. Heh, whenever I take a look at my reflection I almost expect to see the old me staring back. But that's just a false hope, nothing more than a memory that's been fading away in the sands of time. I expect to see my eyes full of life and innocence, I expect not to see the scars and signs of my anguish, but of course things have changed. What I expect are no longer what I see. 

So now I stare at my reflection, trying in everyway to remember what it once was, trying in everyway to impersonate that look, but I can't. My once clear childish eyes have hollowed out. Their cold and empty, nothing more than two pools of darkness, only to be described as no longer childish but _disturbing._  
My pale face that once had not a scratch has the faint sign's of scars left from cuts and wounds. I brushed my white hair over to cover a recent mark, I don't let anyone see my injuries not my friends or what's left of my family. 

As I look at my reflection I find it almost impossible to believe what I once looked like. I find it hard to realise the changes that have over come me in only a short period of time. I never wanted to change, I never wanted to become what I now see in the mirror, but it's happened. If I came face to face with my future self two years ago I think I would have cried. 

"Ryou!" called my father from downstairs. 

I moved away from the mirror, I couldn't take looking at my reflection any longer. I used to breakdown and cry about it. I used to feel myself tearing up inside. But now, I can only feel nothing. My tears are gone and my eyes are dry, sometimes I almost feel pain. _Almost._

I walked out the bathroom and down the stairs to where I had heard my father call. It was the rare occasion that he was actually home from one of his many trips. Not to see me, but only because his museum received a new exhibition that he had to approve. So yes as you can tell I am simply overloaded with fatherly love. 

As I walked into the kitchen I could suddenly feel the mood change. It was as if I was poisoning the room with my unhappiness. I didn't put on a face smile or act like I used to, what was the point, what was the bloody point of life anyway.  
My father was sitting at the table reading a paper, even if he was always gone I knew very well that he had noticed the change in me. I didn't know wether he blamed it on himself or not, but whatever he felt he didn't show it. 

"Are you going to have breakfast?" he asked. I could some how tell that he was trying keep his voice casual, but I could easily pick up on the sadness and worry. I'm good at reading people like that, it comes with the paranoia. 

I considered it sort of pointless the way he had asked me down just so he could ask if I was going to eat. But the truth was I hadn't been eating much, I just didn't have an appetite any more. Maybe he was afraid that I had some sort of eating disorder. The last thing I needed was him sending me to a doctor. 

I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowel on the counter and took a bite in front of him just to show I wasn't staving myself. But other than that I didn't say a word. I knew it wasn't kind to treat my father like this, and I knew that if I just put on an act it would stop him from thinking that I had gone into depression. But I'm sick of acting. I've spent so long acting happy just to prove that I'm normal. 

My father let out a sigh. Not just normal sigh but more like a sad 'I might as well give up' sort of sigh. I guess I really was causing my father unseen pain. I've wondered how he would feel if he ever found out that the cause of it all was his fault in the first place. How would he feel if he ever found out that he was the one that had submitted his son to the darkness. The man was still blind to the physical damage I had done to myself. 

I turned and left the room without another word and made my way up the stairs to my room. Another question the plagued me was the way that my dear father had not commented or had just not noticed the sickening stench of blood that clung to the air of my room. I had kept it clean so that he would never be tempted to so much as tidy it and notice the hidden blood stains in the carpet that had refused to come out. 

After disposing of the apple in my waste paper basket. I flopped down on the bed and stared up at the white ceiling. Before long I felt Bakura stir within the ring. Sure enough after the usually flashing of the sennen item he materialised before me, a scowl displayed on his face like always as he stood looking down. 

Things used to be a lot different between us, that was back when I was different. It used to be I was practically a saint compared to him. I hated everything he did, I hated everyway he looked like me, the way that my soft pale features were twisted into pure evil. Even though I knew it was a lost cause I used to fight him and oppose the way he took over and used my body for his evil purposes. I was righteous…. _Was righteous._

Ha, once a pone a time I would have sacrificed my own life if it meant the end of him. I would have done anything to save my friends. But now things have changed, I've allowed myself to become a puppet, a slave. I am forever condemned to do as he says for the rest of my life. 

I have in every way changed. I have long given into fighting him. Ever so slowly I am loosing myself, and I can do nothing more than hate it. Not only do I hate that but I hate absolutely everyone and everything. 

Bakura gritted his teeth in his usually fierce manor. "How long is he going to be here?" he snarled. 

I sighed. Lately my other half had been pissed about the way my father had been preventing him from going about his usual business, this of course had left him in a very foul mood. "It is his house," I replied softly. 

Yami narrowed his eyes. "If he isn't gone within a week I swear that he will go away and never return." 

I didn't blink. I knew for a fact that this was nothing more than empty threat, there were some ways that my father came in useful for him. Bakura would never do so much as lay a finger on him. "Whatever," I said flatly with no enthusiasm. 

My after half's lip twitched. I could see the way that he somehow expected me to come back with a lively answer or some sort of defence for my father, I almost think there's a possibility that he almost misses the righteous me. In some ways toying with my innocence was the only entertainment that he had. Now that innocence is gone and all that is left is an empty shell. 

_I truly am becoming like Watashi no Yami._

I could see it in his eyes that he had given up on trying to have a half decent argument with me so he returned to the shadowy depths of my mind. I was thankful for this because It allowed me to be alone once more. 

I flopped my head to the side and stared over at the right side of my room. A pair of scissors that lay idly on the desk caught my eye. The rays of sunlight reflected off the silver blades. 

I reached forward and grabbed them. Opening and closing the blades as I examined the object. These, like almost every sharp object in the house, had been used by both my self and Yami Bakura to inflict pain a pone my body. These very same blades had been used to cause some of the scars that lay on my arms. I can't remember the last time I used them to cut paper. 

As I opened the blades an idea formed in my mind, the sort of idea that only the old me would have been able to come up with. As I raised the sharp blade to my arm I felt no resistance from my other half, Bakura probably thought I was only hurting myself again. 

I one bold move I slashed down my arm, going right down the vein from my wrist and towards my fore arm. My Yami had once told me that this would be a faster kill than simply slashing my wrists, I owe him all the credit. 

The warm blood pored out onto the bed. I didn't give the slightest, I could already slowly feel the nausea over coming me. I could feel the way I was slowly loosing consciousness. Sure there was a lot of pain, I could feel it stinging my arm. But I no longer hated pain, pain was freedom, pain was what I was feeling as my life slowly slipped away. 

As the room blurred before me I could think of one word and one word only, Freedom. If death was the only way that I could escape my cursed life then so be it, Yugi should have ended it for me a year ago instead of sending my Yami to the graveyard instead of me. 

And with that everything went black. 

* * *

Just to let you know you actually die faster if you cut from your wrist down towards your fore arm instead of just slashing your wrists. One of my friends was kind enough to tell me this. (She acts like a mental psychopath but she is in fact completely sane) 

Anyway what did you think? I was thinking of continuing it (Yes even though Ryou is dead I can still continue, HA HA HA you forget foolish mortals that I still have a lot more characters to work with, and a lot more possibilities to come true) But if I don't get enough reviews I simply won't bother. 

Anyway since I've gone over this again, I was thinking of continuing it as a yoei fic. I just need one little thing……. A PLOT!!!!. (I refuse to write a plotless story) 

I started writing onward with Bakura coming back to life and turning up at some duel monsters tournament a year after he died. BUT THAT WASN'T GOING TO WORK!. So I'll think about it for a while. 

**Missq**


	2. Foolish Child

Prepare for long meaningful rant. 

I wasn't in anyway planning to actually continue this fic, but then it came to me…. _There are so many possibilities. _  
Now my first idea was to have Ryou come back to life, be all depressed and sad, Bakura feel sorry like in EVERY yaoi fic, blah blah blah, Ryou keeps trying to kill himself, then it would go into the whole 'I love you Bakura.' 'I love you too Ryou.' Thing.  
BUT THAT IDEA HAS BEEN USED (starts counting on fingers) A LOT!   
Therefor it took me time to actually come up with a original idea that would work and not sound shity.  


Now I recently went back over some stuff I did 10 months ago, and I'll tell you, it really really reeeeally sucked. I'm talking 24 reviews for 12 chapters. One of them included a person stating that they refused to read it any more because they couldn't stand my sentence structure . I then realised… I NEVER WANNA SOUND LIKE THAT AGAIN! Therefor I put a lot of effort into making sure this was legible. 

Secondly, character structure. I wanted to fully build on Ryou and Bakura's true character. People make Ryou too weak and girlie, and Bakura either too soft and compassionate, or too deranged and blood thirsty. I want to make sure they acted as Kazuki Takahashi had written them + the changes I had made to Ryou now depressing personality (No OOC for Ryou and Bakura, excluding the others).  
Have you ever seen Charles Angels 2? If you haven't don't, I know some people might like it (Mainly guys) BUT IT ANOYED THE HELL OTTA ME!. There is this one guy, he sniffs hair, he doesn't talk, he helps the angels, he ends up dieing. WHY DOSE HE SNIFF HAIR? WHO IS HE? WHY IS HE HELPING THE ANGELS? NOT ONE OF THESE QUESTIONS WERE EXPLAINED. HE WAS A BIG FAT CHARACTER PLOT HOLE! HE WAS SO BLOODY UNDERDEVELOPTED!!!!! 

Anyway on with the story. If my grammar and spelling are bad, if you hate it, or if you like Charles Angels **FOR CRYING OUT LOUD JUST BLOODY FLAME ME!! I LOVE HATE MAIL! DO I LOOK LIKE SOME EMOTIONALY WEAK LITTLE AUTHOR WHO CAN'T TAKE INSULTS?!** (Puts on sweet little voice) 'Feel free to leave constructive criticism but no flames because I'll cwy.' 

God people it's FF.net. (Or whatever site I've posted this on) You are not being paid, we do not know you, You shouldn't even give a damn what we have to say. Yet I still see entire chapters of Authors notes by people who are winging about the fact they were badly flamed. (dose another impression) 'I was deeply upset by all those flames sent at me, I was hurt, it made me cry, I don't know if I want to continue this story.'  
You people get so involved that you forget THIS IS THE INTERNET! The reviews don't even physically exist, they're little bits of data in cyber space. Can you eat a review? Can you physically touch a review? Can you use a review to start a fire? NO! The only reason writers are so desperate to get them it because they can feel good about themselves. GET A LIFE PEOPLE!   
You have no contract, You have signed nothing that says you have to finish any written work. If you abandon your story I swear that the reviewers try to guilt you into finishing it. BUT DO NOT LISTEN PEOPLE, THIS IS THE TRUTH! 

Question, how many people did I just offend in that author's note? 

Note: Remember Bakura is insane, not misunderstood, insane. 

* * *

**_Chapter two _ Folish Child**

I ask a small favour of you, not a large one, something small that requires practically no effort what so ever. Picture this for me in your mind, in detail, not just some pathetic outline or blur.  
Imagine that you've just some out of your sennen item that you have been trapped within for the past God knows how long. Yes years of darkness before you were finally brought into the light with the aid of some pathetic child that is the very key to your existence. Take note that this pathetic child has recently entered a stage of depression that makes him to fun to argue with.  
Now imagine that you've just emerged to see the one sight you hope never to see. 

That pathetic child lying dead. 

Now how would you feel to such a sight, pain, sadness, regret, possibly all three at once. Maybe if you had a real emotional attachment you would break down crying. Or the pain could be too much for you to even shed a tear. But for me….. None of the above. 

Once I got over the sudden shock I just stood there laughing my arse off. 

Now you may ask why I was laughing hysterically when the other half of my soul was dead as a door nob. (How many years has it been since that phrase was last used) What do you expect of me, to cry my eyes out before drowning myself in guilt, to utter soft words such as 'Gomen Nasai my love.' I have no emotional attachment or sentiment, Ryou was the one who was capable of feeling such things not I. I am only darkness. 

I looked down at my arm to see the identical slash Ryou had done to his own. Don't ask how but it some how seemed utterly hilarious, this set off another never ending laughing fit. Before I knew it I was crying, crying tears of laughter. 

"You.. really.. did.. it this… time.. didn't.. you," I manage to chock out. Hell my sides were even beginning to hurt. 

I managed to stager over to the bed, making sure not to fall down and end up rolling on the floor. I took a place on the bed next to my…. shall we say ex-host. "Oh you really have doomed us both haven't you my little host," my hysterical laughter had died down to a soft chuckle. I brought my own slit arm up to my face and began to examine it. "Nice handy work I shall say, how long before you bled to death from a cut like this? One, two minutes?" 

As expected little Ryou gave no reply. 

"Now Ryou don't go giving me the silent treatment like always, I'm actually quiet proud that my host managed to learn something from me. Although I preferred it if you didn't go so far with the self mutilation ne?" Ryou's arm gave a slight twitch, but I was wise enough to know that this was nothing more than a muscle spasm. 

The gleaming silver scissors were still clutched in his blood soaked hands. But would it be wiser to label them as an item of death? Ryou's little cowardly escape from the world.  
Some people, such as that annoying little Pharaoh Atem (Yami Yugi's real name released in issue 333) would claim that my host's change in behaviour was all my fault, that I had been the one who pushed Ryou over the edge. But what those people fail to realise is that everything can't be blamed on me. 

You see I spent years in that child's head. I heard every single little bitty though that he ever had. I know for a fact that despite his happy and innocent aura that kid was absolutely fricken miserable. _'Mother why did you die' 'Amane your dead yet I can't cry.' 'Father why must you always leave me alone.' 'Bakura can't you see that I'm hurting.' _Me, I did nothing to break him, what his little friends failed to notice was that he was already broken. I simply let what he felt in the inside show on the outside. Is that a crime? Letting Ryou express his true emotions. 

"Ah my little host didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with sharp objects, they could be dangerous to your health," I chuckled at my little joke. "We wouldn't want you hurting your self now would we? That could put a dent in my plans to eradicate the pharaoh and his host." 

And then it came to me, something so bloody obvious that I was ready to slam my head into a wall for not realising it sooner. _Why wasn't I gone._  
Obviously if Ryou had kicked the bucket I should cease to exist, I should be gone, off to spent another fun filled millennium in the darkness. Yet for some strange reason I was still here, confused, but here. 

I turned to my host. "Ryou are you dead?" 

It was as stupid question and Ryou remained silent. 

I reached forward and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him violently. "If your dead than how the hell am I still bloody here?!" 

Still no reaction. 

"Chikusu," I swore under my breath as I let him go. But then something caught my attention, the sennen ring was still lying idly around Ryou's neck. Even though I hadn't willed it to do anything it was faintly glowing. I smirked evilly. "Your still my friend aren't you?" 

As if replying the ring glinted. 

My smirk grew as it all made sense to me. "You wouldn't let my little host escape would you? You have his soul." 

The ring let off another glint. I would be truthful to say you could have a better conversation with a piece of metal than with my depressing little master. 

I got up off the bed and truly examined the child. It would be no underestimate that the sheet, bed, and Ryou's clothing were almost completely blood stained. No matter how strong the washing powder those stains would never come out, the only thing to do would be to burn or dispose of them.  
Ryou's face must have had to most peaceful look that he had displaced. It had the look of freedom, the look as if he was free from all the sorrows of his life. Too bad for him he was going to find himself thrust back into those sorrows very very soon. 

"How about this, I bandage our little master up and you return his soul." 

The ring let off another glint. I suddenly realised how insanely stupid I looked talking to the sennen item. 

After I ripped the bloodstained sheets out from under him I turned and quietly slipped out Ryou's door and made my way towards the bathroom where the first aid equipment was kept under the sink. 

I found it easily enough, bandages, cream, and a load of other stuff that would make Ryou's father worry if he ever once found out that it was half gone. I didn't have a clue what the hell you were supposed to do with half the modern junk so I just grabbed the bandages and kicked the rest back under where it belonged. 

"Ryou!" Called the easily identifiable voice of my host's dear loving father. I could hear him stomping up the stairs towards Ryou's room. 

"Fuck," I swore under my breath. The last thing I bloody needed was him going in to see his little boy in a puddle of blood. Despite the level of amusement that would come from letting him walk in to see Ryou dead, evasion was the easiest method here. "I'm in the bathroom!" 

Before Mr Bakura came into view down the hall I quickly hid my slashed arm behind my back and put on a fake smile. I was so used to impersonating the happy Ryou that I forgot that he was depressed.   
As I stood in the doorway I could see Ryou's father's expression lighten as soon as he came into view. "Ryou I'm going to the museum for a couple of hours." 

I nodded softly, making sure I didn't appear too happy. 

Before he turned to walk back down the stairs he issued one final comment. "I'm glade to see you smile like you used to," and with that he walked down the stairs shortly followed by the slamming of the front door. 

I sighed then made my way back to my hosts bedroom. He was exactly where he was when I last left him, as if he would have in anyway moved. I walked back over to the bed and sat down. "Did you miss me my little host, are you having fun in the ring?" I picked up his slashed arm and began wrapping it in the bandage. Despite the fact he was dead and his blood was no longer flowing it still soaked through.   
God Ryou had done a bloody good job at his little suicide . "It won't be long now and you'll be back here with me, won't you?" 

One I'd finished I put his arm down and brushed his hair away from his pale face. Even though he looked in peace I knew that would be short lived. "Don't you see my little foolish host, you can never escape me." 

* * *

Honestly why the hell in the first aid kit always kept in the bathroom. Seriously I don't know one person who would keep one there. I know people that keep them in kitchen cupboards, laundries, hallway closets. Never the bathroom. (Wait do Americans even use the word cupboard or do they just say closest) I would have in the kitchen except Ryou's father was there and Bakura wouldn't exactly walk past with a slit arm. 

Yes I know Bakura was talking to the ring, what you must realise is 1. Bakura is insane & 2. The sennen items do have wills of their own. 

I do have ideas, not certain idea's (I'm sorta only trudging alone here) But they were better than the original few. 

Original idea number 1.  
Ryou comes back from the dead one year latter and competes in a duel monster tournament in Egypt. Of course Bakura would be disguised. Bakura would compete as some mysterious masked compeditor till is identity would be reviled in the final duel. The idea it's self sounded good, the written version was not. AXED! 

Idea number Two, this was a result of me reading too much Ryou x Bakura Yaoi.  
Bakura sees Ryou dead, cries, Ryou comes back to life same way as in this story, goes into the whole out of character Yaoi crap. 

Yes people I know want I want to happen, ain't so sure how and why it's gonna happen though. Just don't expect the next chapter up too soon I've still got to work out what the hell I'm doing. 

Bakura: Aren't you going to ask for reviews like every other bloody author. 

Missq: No I'm not like them. 

Bakura: But what you fail to realise is that you have long authors notes, and for the first time ever your showing authors notes in the middle of the story. Not to mention the face you have now writing skits. Your becoming like THEM. 

Missq: Them? 

Bakura: All the other authors you Fuck head! 

Missq: Noooooooooo I don't wanna be like them! 

Bakura: But technically you want to be flamed, you have no over enthusiastic sugar rush authors notes, you offend the readers, the authors, not to mention the fact you have no disclaimer. 

Missq: Don't care, I never got that many reviews, I'm done sucking up and giving a damn what they have to say. 

Bakura: Ahhhhhhh… maybe your stories suck? 

Missq: I agree that some of my stuff sucked, I'm gonna delete some of my DBZ crap. (I'll leave one because it got 130 reviews and temporarily boosted my self confidence) but 'FITH' and this one were good. 

Bakura: You wish. 

Missq: People read FITH, IT DOSE NOT SUCK! If I do suck flame me so I know I suck! I hate people who tell you something's good when it's crap. 

**Missq (The rogue author who owns a Bakura fansite and a fic contest (Check bio for details) ) **


	3. Since when is life Fair

Do not fear any more long crazy rants, I've just decided to shut up and sound sophisticated. 

Don't know why the hell I'm continuing this since it was just supposed to be a one-shot. The truth is… well the obvious reason was… well……….. I got bored. So if I suddenly stop this fic it's because I somehow gained a life. And I did get 5 reviews for every chapter so it can't be too bad. I'm not one of those people who won't continue until they get a certain amount of reviews 

True there was once a time when I would dedicate my entire weekend to typing on the computer. But that was just sad, really sad. 

Check out my site and fic contest at 

=Bakura to Ryou= 

-Ryou-chan to Bakura-kun- 

Naze: Why 

Onegai: Please. 

Itai: Ow/ it hurts. 

* * *

**Death is the Answer  
Since when is life fair**

  
  
Death… such as simple word that sounds sweet to my ears…..demise, to pass ….to fade out of existence and forget you ever lived at all.  
Subconsciously I think I've been wishing for such a thing ever since my pathetic life began. First there was the way my mother truly never loved me. Yes you would think such a thing couldn't be possible, after all you hear so much of bonds between mother and child. I must have been the lone exception to the theory. But she did love my sister, just not me. 

She was of course crazy in the end. Killing Amane then ending her own life while I was still only a child. Such a thing was enough to traumatise a kid for life I suppose, but I was young and I remember only feeling confused. My father, unable to cope with her actions, chose to isolate himself in an attempt to cut me off for years. I think being away so much prevented him from seeing her madness before it was too late, and then there was…. the guilt. And to think latterly he's been trying to get through to me, to make up for lost time. 

A fat lot of good that's done. 

Then there's Bakura. Bakura, Bakura, Bakura, how could I forget to mention him first. If there is an unsolvable mystery in the universe it would be him, or me, or both of us for that matter. Why he is like he is, why am I, out of the billions of people on the planet to host him, Why was the ring destined to me in the first place. 

Come to think of it there's a connection between all the sennen ring holders. Yugi wanted a friend, Pegasus lost his wife, Marik killed his father, and Isis wanted her brother back. I don't truly know the story of Shadi…. Bakura for one seems to know him in some sort of way, but my guess is that he once suffered like the rest of us. 

Then we come to me, Ryou Bakura. As I explained I have suffered as much as the rest of them, maybe even more. I've been hurt, I was lonely….. maybe the ring was attracted to me in that way. Maybe fate wanted to make me happier, but failed miserably and only tormented me more.   
Still…… I know someone up there is laughing. 

But then again………. What did I think of death.? 

As I child I was always told that death wasn't something to fear, that when my time finally came I would find myself in a beautiful place with all my loved ones that had passed before me. Well…to hell with religion…….. I saw none of that… all that lay before me was darkness. 

The thing was it wasn't just black, it was cold and numbing, empty and desolate. I felt it enter my heart, twist into my soul and try to break me apart piece by piece.  
This was not the freedom I desired, it was entrapment. This was no different to the way I felt when I was still alive. 

"Naze….." I whispered softly through my frozen lips. "Why……" 

Did you know that when your body becomes too frozen you simply fall asleep and die. Such a peaceful way to end it ne? But since I was already dead I could only pass out. 

And then everything went black…..again…. 

…………. 

………….. 

…………. 

…………. 

=Ryou……….= 

=Ryoooou……= 

=Ryou!………..= 

=RYOU!= 

=WAKE UP YOU LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHING YADONUSHI!!!!!!= 

My eyes shot open to see the last thing that I ever wanted or expected…….  
At first I thought the angels were calling me, beckoning me into a place where I could at long last be at peace. But as my vision cleared, and my eyes came into focus, all I could see was Bakura looking down at me with that glare I knew all too well. Now my first thoughts were that he may have died along with me, that I could take. But from the way my room was clearly visible from behind it was obvious that I had failed. 

"So sleeping beauty finally awakes," he smirked. Oh I hated the way he could make me look so sarcastic. 

I tried to struggle away only to find he was sitting on top of me holding me down., both legs on the side of my hip. I gave up almost instantly, all that fire and determination that I once held had died. After all, I wasn't even capable of dieing properly. 

"Naze Bakura……. Naze?" I asked, my voice trembling softly. 

"Why," he questioned. He brought his face down inches from mine, so close that his hair brushed against my cheek. He looked directly into my eyes and I could see hints of rage. I only looked at him blankly, fear would please him, and anger would only edge him on for a fight. "Tell me yadonushi," he practically spat. "What did you truly hope to accomplish in your little stunt?" 

I remained silent. I had nothing to say to him. 

"Silent now are you? Fine be that way," He pulled his face back a bit. "But let me tell you Ryou I am this close to hurting you," he held up his thumb and finger, the space being half a centimetre apart. 

I blinked, at least in my near death experience I had gotten a taste of what it was like to be alone with no spirit inside my head, well for the first time since I got the ring. As frozen as I was I could remember the slight hint of liberation I had felt. 

Bakura had crossed his arms across his chest and was tapping his finger against his arm as if waiting for an answer. I could think of only one thing. I wanted to get away from you……. 

His eyes flared instantly as I realised he'd heard my thoughts. I cowered to the best of my extent. 

*SMACK*. 

The burning sensation in my cheek was felt instantly. I was surprised though, Bakura had never raised a finger against me in anger before. 

"So you want to get away from me now do you yadonushi? Do you?" 

I cowered again, I could feel his rage and anger burning through the link we shared. -Please- 

= I ASKED FOR YES OR NO, PLEASE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH!= 

-Bakura I…I..I- 

Bakura sighed. = I used to think you were simply ignorant, now I realise how UTTERLY stupid and idiotic you truly are! = 

So now I was stupid, figures. I guess I wasn't good for anything, even though Bakura hadn't said it yet I knew I was worthless. Why did I still continue to live in the first place. 

As I looked back up at him I could see that look in his eye, the terrifying look that meant he was about to do something, something I won't like the slightest. 

"You want to know some thing Ryou, do you?" He didn't wait for an answer before he raised his hand to his mouth and sank his sharp teeth into it. I could feel the way he was opening up the link between us, wider than it usually was. 

Before long I could feel a sight bitting sensation in my own hand, but as Bakura sank his teeth deeper and deeper the pain only increased till I could take it no longer. I tried to close the link, believe me, but I had no fight left in me, none at all. 

-Bakura onegai- 

Deeper and deeper. 

-Bakura please…. itai- I begged. 

The blood was beginning to pour from a wound that was forming as if invisible teeth were clamping down on my delicate hand. 

-Bakura.. stop it…not to me- 

My hand felt warm. 

-BAKURA STOP IT!!!!!- 

Bakura released his jaw and the pain ceased, I could feel the link shrinking again. As he lowered his hand I could see the way his arm was wrapped in bandage up to the elbow, I could feel that mine was much the same way. 

=Do you get the picture now my little host?= 

"Bakura what are you trying to prove?" I whispered, my shaking voice implied some force. 

He sighed, I could faintly hear muffled cursing through our link. "We… are….. connected, do you understand or must I say it slower." 

-I know that Bakura- 

He gave me a look, a look that said I was stupid while he knew everything and anything. "Your pain is my pain and vise versa, you can't die unless I allow it." 

His words sent me numb, what did he mean by I couldn't die unless he approved of it. "Nani…." 

=YOUR NOT BLOODY DIEING GET THE PICTURE!= 

Now it was my turn to be violent. Somehow those words brought back my fight, the determination and denial I had when he first possessed me. 

*SMACK* 

I could tell Bakura was shocked at my actions, I was too, I took this as the perfect opportunity to throw him off me. The spirit landed on the floor next to my bed with a hard thud. Stunned before he finally was able to speak. 

=Why you little…..= 

My eyes burned with rage and anger as I ripped the cord of the ring off my neck and hurdled the sennen item at the far wall, denting the plaster before the pendant bounced off and landed with a chink of the floor. The eye staring up at the ceiling. 

Bakura was staring at it stunned, probably wondering how I suddenly got the strength to retaliate when only moments before my determination was dead. But then again I though… I could almost hear him laughing. 

I took this as my only opportunity to run before he bashed me half to death out of anger. Jumping off the bed, sprinting past the spirit that seemed to be cackling softly, ripping open the door, and slamming it behind me. Some how I was glad my father moved us out of that apartment and got a house, I gave me more space to run. 

I almost tripped down the stairs and broke my neck before grabbing the rail. Deciding instantly that it would be best if I ran and hid in the closest room, that being the laundry. 

The laundry it's self was what you would expect, a washer, a drier, a sink. I sat myself down on a basket of clothes I had yet to iron. My father didn't do any laundry, I was always the one who cooked and cleaned. I would have liked to have seen him survive on his own if I had actually been able to die. 

My arm….. The bandaged had a long stain of red above where the cut had once existed. I didn't want to see it, no even though I could stand blood when I had once feared it I didn't want to see the full extent of my self mutilation. 

What have I done to myself. 

= Ku, you know very well what you've done. = 

I gripped my head and cut the link of instantly. It was easier to do when I wasn't wearing the ring and he was further away. He couldn't find me here, even if he was able to separate himself he didn't have his own body, there was only so far he could go and I was out of range. 

No he would draw me mentally, he would pull me closer and closer, till I would once put the item around me neck and be in his control once more. That was the way he held power over me, the ability to manipulate my mind where ever I may be. 

Still my life couldn't continue on like this, there had to be something I could do. 

As it seems death isn't always the answer. 

  
--------THE END--------- 

* * *

Well I could have continued it but I didn't have a clue what to do. 

**Missq**


End file.
